Attractive Attraction

I heard somewhere that just as nature hates vacuum and immediately rushes in to fill the gap, so it’s not possible to hold two emotions simultaneously. That is, you can be happy or you can be miserable, but you can’t be both at the same time.

All rather obvious and some might say simplistic. But actually, a lot of people, without realizing it, choose unhappiness as a way of life, all the while claiming that happiness is what they really want.

I watched a movie the other day about the murder of a young girl. The mother was beside herself. For years she dogged the police screaming for them to find her daughter’s murderer and bring him to justice. In the meantime she was living in a sort of suspended animation. Once the murderer was caught, then she could start living again.

Eventually the murderer was caught and charged. The mother sat in the court, never missing a day, feeding her misery on the details the trial uncovered. And when the man was eventually sentenced, she continued to wail and scream at the inadequacy of the sentence. The murderer had taken the life of her daughter, surely he deserved a much more severe sentence than that handed down by the judge.

According to Lynn Grabhorn, many people not only choose this type of emotional pain as a way to feel alive, but since this is the only feeling they hold, they will continue to attract more of it. This woman will probably attract similarly motivated people, and together they will form a group for the relatives and friends of victims so that they can maintain their rage against the system, and lacerate their feelings of loss and distress.

The point here is not as to who is right or who is wrong, the point here is that this person has chosen to feel unhappy while believing that she wants nothing more than to be happy, but that circumstances or fate or whatever you will, have chosen otherwise.

Today, she can wake up and say enough to pain, and focus on the good things that she can still enjoy in life. And circumstances and people will appear in her life reflecting her focus, as currently she is surrounded with only the pain in her life.

It’s all up to her. While she generates only hatred and pain, that’s all she’ll get back from life. And though she can justify her feelings by the circumstances of her life, it is still her choice of being happy only by being unhappy.

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorised to perform marriages in Australia. She also perform general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about her as a celebrant and an author visit vlady at http://www.weddings-celebrant.com

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I came across Lynn Grabhorn’s ground breaking book on Law of Attraction by accident. As my husband needed to go to the library, I accompanied him there for something to do. I stopped at the row of non-fiction books closest to the door, intending to keep on moving around the room till my husband was finished. Somewhere between Philosophy and Great Lives, I discovered ‘Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting’.

As intrigued as I was by the title, l was even more intrigued by its subtitle - ‘the astonishing power of feelings’. According to the author, you can make your life just the way you want it to be not by working harder, or being more positive or saying affirmations a hundred time a day, but by focusing on what you really want, and injecting your desires with feelings.

It reminded me of an old time favourite movie of mine ‘Groundhog Day’ with Bill Murray. I won’t spoil the story for anyone out there who hasn’t seen this piece of creativity, suffice it to say that Bill found himself in one of those impossible situations that no amount of worry could help. He screamed, he fussed, became thoroughly depressed, decided life was not worth living, but could change nothing.

As Lynn Grabhorn would say, his focus was completely on what he didn’t want. And so long as his focus remained on what he didn’t want, all he could hope for was more of the same.

According to Lynn, that’s how most of us live - worrying, fearing, fretting, fussing. And as long as we’re in that place of what we don’t want, that’s where we’re going to remain.

Back in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, Bill, after knocking his head against a solid wall of ‘I don’t want this’, came to the conclusion that if what he was doing wasn’t working, perhaps he should change his focus.

Now here’s the tricky bit. Deciding simply to want to get out of the bad situation is not really focusing on what you want. You must want a positive outcome.

Bill decided that what he wanted was not ‘Please, get me out of this,’ - he’d already done that a million times, and it hadn’t worked - but rather, ‘I want to be happy,’ ‘I want to be useful,’ ‘I want to have friends,’ ‘I want to develop my talents’.

Did things change for Bill? Would I be writing this if they hadn’t?

As hard as it is to believe, most of us, says Lynn Grabhorn, spent our time thinking about the things we don’t want to be part of our lives. More often than not, we have no idea of what we do want and we drift on the sea of our worries and other people’s agenda for us.

The Law of Attraction works in either case. If your focus is on what you don’t want, it will deliver. If you decide you want to live the good life - whatever that means to you - it will deliver that too.

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorised to perform marriages in Australia. She also perform general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about her as a celebrant and an author visit vlady at http://www.weddings-celebrant.com

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I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m asked to create a wish list, it’s usually a very short one. My wishes don’t run to yachts and helicopters or Arabian ponies - or whatever the latest craze of the rich and famous happens to be.

I understand I’m pretty normal. It seems that the longer we live, the shorter our list of wishes becomes, as experience tells us that wish as we may, our wishes will never come true.

According to Lynn Grabhorn, this state of affairs begins in our childhood - or perhaps even while we’re waiting to be born. As we’re floating in that amniotic fluid, already some of the parent’s anxiety is reaching us. For while two may live as cheaply as one, three - especially if one of them is a baby - definitely can’t. If you’ve seen the episode of ‘The Simpsons’ where Homer is told by his wife that she’s expecting a baby,you might have laughed at his hysterical reactions. However, though most of us wouldn’t admit this to our best friend, those reaction are probably closer to reality than those portrayed by romantic movies.

But even if our birth is a happy event, certainly our childhood is fraught with parental fears and dreads. It’s suggested that by the time children reach their third year, they have heard the word ‘no’ (or equivalent) at least 60,000 times. If a child learns anything from these three years, it’s that that the world is a dangerous place and it’s a lot safer not to do anything. It’s the exceptional person who survives the ‘don’ts’ and ‘nos’ to continue to look for challenges. Most of us settle just for security and peace of mind.

And therein lies the human tragedy, says Lynn, because you are the creator of your life, and you can have your yachts and helicopters if you choose to have them. It’s all up to you. Get over the hurdle of being careful and begin to stretch out for the good things in life. Stop focusing and questioning the wrongs of the world you’ve been taught from the day you were born, and live a little.

Just remember, whatever it is you want to appear in your world, all it takes is to create that wonderful feeling of having and enjoying it. The Law of Attraction affirms that feelings are like magnets, with positive emotions attracting positive outcomes. Put out into the universe all your negative emotions and negative outcomes is what you’ll get in return. Put out positive emotions and positive outcome will be the result.

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorised to perform marriages in Australia. She also perform general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about her as a celebrant and an author visit vlady at http://www.weddings-celebrant.com

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