Attractive Attraction

I’ve been much busier lately. I’ve been getting out more, experiencing more, working more, and enjoying the ride. As a coach, I’m challenged to create my life daily rather than just go about life’s repetitions every day. Going about life’s repetitions for over a decade led to me waking up one day wondering, “How did I get here?” I hear similar views and feelings from many people. I read about it in the papers, see shows that reflect a similar reality, and meet folks at the coffee shop lamenting the same meaninglessness. Meaning in life is important. Rather than talk about meaning and purpose today, as I’ve usually done in the past, I’m instead going to talk about creating my life daily.

As I said, I’m a coach and one would expect a coach to have their shit together or to at least know their shit. A pun or two inadvertently enjoyed there. Now some of you are chuckling and yet, I wonder how many of you are also surprised to learn that a coach has any problems? Well, again this would be a matter of perspective.

My business history involved problem-solving and creating and managing change, and these were two of the most common themes and talents I exercised naturally for more than a decade. I was good at what I did and I was good with people. I never saw what was impossible and only focused on what is possible. I rarely took ‘no’ for an answer and frequently inspired other’s perspectives to find the solutions. This is where a problem perspective has the opportunity to transform into seeing what is possible. This is a crucial moment of recognizing the power you have with choice. Choice has less to do with ‘outer outcome or circumstances’ and more to do with ‘inner being’.

Being at choice is important to creating my day. Each day I wake up knowing what I ‘don’t want’ via past experiences. This allows me to reframe the ‘don’t want’ into a powerful positive ‘want’. Stating verbally what I want energizes and strengthens the ownership I have for creating the life I desire. It’s useful to be specific as possible and yet, without data we have little information to be specific with; worse still, with bad data - bad experiences - we have incorrect or incomplete data to state what is wanted. Nonetheless, this exercise opens up power, choice, and possibility for what is to come on this day.

Embarking upon the journey today, I welcome each and every experience and social interaction. Where situations offer it, I am able to articulate and reframe where necessary what I ‘do or don’t want’ in a given area of my life. Without specifics for what I do ‘want’, I may substitute the tangibles with intangibles; qualities that will satisfy my inner spirit. This exercise, being new in action or objective, may require some blind groping initially that are full of intangibles; until enough experience has yielded the information that allows you to clarify the tangibles. This is the art of creating your life.

It is knowing that you are at choice at every moment of every day. Even a non-choice is a choice. Every mistake or bad experience is useful information that offers insight into right action for future choices. Again, knowing that you are at choice allows for mistakes without self-blame and the opportunity to move powerfully in a new direction. Therefore, mistakes are met with gratitude and embraced to enact change that will bring about more positive experiences. Where the future cannot be envisioned, I can project my ‘want’ with intangibles such as joy, fulfillment, love, or whatever other descriptor that will shift my energy to focus on the power of ‘wants’ rather than the negativity of ‘don’t wants’. Then I enjoy the journey and the process and embrace the natural unfolding of me and my life. Do we ever stop learning about ourselves?

Try using any combination of the following to help you create your day:

What do I want?
What don’t I want?
Repeated intentionally: What do I want?
Wht is my passion?
What is my purpose?
What brings me joy?
What causes me to forget the time?
What do I want more of?
What do I want less of?

State as often as possible what I want.
Notice what I’m doing and how or who I am being.
Notice qualities, traits, characteristics, etc. about self and others.

Observe my beliefs and emotions:
Are they serving me?
Am I serving them?
What is it costing me?
What am I saying Yes to?
What am I saying No to?

Be courageous.
Be gentle.
Be patient.
Be love.

Lee Down is a professionally trained Coach committed to the awakening and development of the human spirit. One Man Can wants to inspire and empower your life, your relationships, and your world.

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Ancient lore tells us that there’s a magical genie who lives in a lamp and
the person who possesses that lamp has the power to invoke wishes
and desires beyond our wildest dreams.

If I told you that Genie lives in you, would you believe me? Maybe not.

But if I told you that there was another character who lives in you and
complains, whines and was negative about your day to day life as well
as your dreams, would you believe me then? I’ll bet you would.
Because we are all far too familiar with this character whom I call the
Gremlin.

The Gremlin is that part of you who keeps your fears, anxieties and
doubts alive and well. His entire purpose is to maintain control over you,
keeping things status quo even if you’re not happy with the status quo.

He believes his purpose is to keep you safe by not allowing you to take
risks, speak up for yourself or create changes in your life that you know
in your heart need changing. And, he definitely wants to make sure the
Genie doesn’t make an appearance. Because once the Genie shows
up, the Gremlin knows he’s no longer in charge.

For way too many years I lived with the Gremlin as the one in charge
until I learned how to quiet him enough to awaken my Genie Within
making him my full time partner and only allowing my Gremlin to visit
occasionally.

Now you may ask, “Why allow the Gremlin to visit even occasionally?”
Because it’s important to realize your Gremlin will always be there.
You’re human and it’s only natural to have both negative and positive
thoughts show up throughout your life. But the trick is, to be aware of
your Gremlin when he’s around so you can consciously quiet him
enough to allow yourself to feel a little bit better about a situation and
give the Genie Within the chance to come to the surface and help you
find better solutions, ask different questions and attract into your life
more of what you do want, not what you don’t want. Which, by the way, is
what the Gremlin does. Attracts what you don’t want.

To get you started in shifting from your Gremlin thinking to your Genie
thinking I’d like to share with you 5 Tips To Quiet Your Gremlin and 5
questions to Awaken your Genie Within.

1. Let your Gremlin be when he starts up with you.
Focus more on your body and see where he’s showing up in your body.
Does your head hurt? Is your neck stiff? Is your stomach in a knot?
Breathe into those areas until you feel some relief.

2. Give your Gremlin permission to rant and rave for a bit.
Don’t judge him, don’t panic over what’s being said or resist anything.
Just let it be. Allow all the Gremlin’s ranting to pour out. Sit back and
enjoy it for a change. Put a smile on your face as you listen calmly.
Separate yourself from that Gremlin who’s doing all the whining and
complaining.

3. Ask him questions.
Get as intimate as you can with him. Find out what sets him off. Then
give him answers as if you were talking to a four year old trying to calm
him/her of the dark before falling asleep.

4. Pick a name for your Gremlin and talk to him out loud.
Using his name, tell him everything is going to be fine and he can take a
rest for now. Keep talking to him until he’s less noisy. Talking out loud
will create a shift inside of you that won’t happen when you just think
about the conversation. By the way, my Gremlin’s name is Gertrude.

5. Be gentle with your Gremlin.
Visualize your arm around him, soothing him, comforting him, allowing
him to rest his head on your shoulder. Remember, he’s scared, he
doesn’t want you to fall down and he believes he’s doing what’s best for
you.

Once your Gremlin is under your control this is when you want to
connect with the Genie within. Your Genie is that part of you that creates
comments, ideas and questions that allow you to feel like your moving
forward instead of being stuck. He’ll have you feeling better about
yourself overall.

5 Genie Questions

1. What’s working in my life for me?
2. What’s my intention in this moment?
3. What wants to be born from this?
4. What would be my best choice at this time?
5. What can I do for myself right now to feel a little bit better?

Linda Salazar
Certified Personal Life Coach, Author, Speaker
310-375-4800
Awaken The Genie Within

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