Attractive Attraction

Most gifts are given out of guilt or obligation. We toss them back and forth for holidays or birthdays, like a grass stained softball that’s waiting to be caught by a person who feels it’s rightfully theirs. Even charitable gifts can become more of a duty than an act of love. When I was growing up, my church dictated that ten percent of the family’s income should be donated to the church. When donations were low, they were quick to remind us by devoting an entire sermon to the subject. And so, people gave out of guilt and out of fear of being denied at the gates of heaven!

Not all gifts need to come with attachments. In any given day, you can read about plenty of generous people giving to others or their community. Some celebrities, who often have a lot to give, use their wealth and influence to create a better world for all of us. Many times, it is personal experience that leads them to a particular cause. Elizabeth Taylor’s tiresome support for an AIDS cure was heightened as a result of loosing many fellow actors and friends to the disease. Audrey Hepburn’s malnutrition as a child during the Nazi occupation of Holland in WWII and subsequent medical and nutritional help from UNICEF was a catalyst for her role later in life as a special ambassador to UNICEF, helping to improve conditions for hungry children in Africa and Latin America. A tour of an emergency shelter for abused children led actress Sela Ward to partner with Kentucky Fried Chicken’s Colonel’s Kids Program to buy and refurbish a 25-acre children’s home for abused and neglected children.

You don’t have to be rich to give. Any gesture of generosity, not matter how small, makes difference. True giving comes from the heart and can take many formsmoney, gifts, love, compassion, physical assistance, time, food, services, advice, or even an open ear. When you give unconditionally, it’s like releasing thousands of molecules of love and compassion into the universe that attach themselves to people, places and events.

Remember, whatever you put out in this world comes back to you tenfold. It may not come back in the same form you sent it, but the universe will surely reciprocate, in some shape or form, in this lifetime or the next.

My friend Nanette is the queen of gift-giving, and it all comes from her heart. There isn’t a holiday, occasion, event or birthday that goes by without her making those moments special with her love, generosity and presence. When I receive a gift from her, I can feel the love that surrounds it. It makes me happy and thankful. I feel that same love whenever I give a gift to someone, because that person’s happiness and gratitude is my gift. Giving is receiving, and receiving is giving. They are one and the same.

In the words of Audrey Hepburn, “Giving is like living. If you stop wanting to give…there’s nothing more to live for.” So, Goddess…give freely and you will live happily.

5 Ways to Give To Others:

Give someone a gift, just because.

Give anonymously when appropriate.

Never expect anything in return for your generosity.

If you think someone could use some help, offer before they ask.

Each morning, ask yourself how you can serve humanitythen do so.

Excerpted from the book: The Goddess of Happiness, A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss

Debbie Gisonni, aka The Goddess of Happiness

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Have you noticed that some desires manifest quickly and easily
while others seem to drag on and on without even a hint of
fulfillment? Does your heart long for a mate? Does your pocket
ache for some cash? Does your mind chat about enlightenment
all through your meditation? As spring approaches we have the
opportunity to plant seeds. Long before the seeds bring us
zinnias and zucchini they offer us a far-reaching lesson.

We place the seed in the earth. The clock ticks. Days pass. The
ground is quiet and still. It looks like nothing is happening.
Meanwhile, under the surface, the seed awakens. A life is born. However, the seed’s
transformational awakening looks exactly like its slumber to us living above the surface
of the earth. From our limited perspective, we cannot tell the difference between
dormancy and a surge of momentum toward life.

A similar gestational period occurs when we plant a seed with our intention into the
fertile ground of consciousness. A period follows when it looks like nothing is
happening. But just like the physical seed, which is undergoing its greatest
metamorphosis hidden within the womb of the earth, the seed of our intention sprouts
without our conscious awareness. How we relate to that period of invisible progress has
much to do with what we will place in our baskets at harvest time.

Abundance

One apple seed, which produces one apple tree, offers innumerable apples in its
lifetime. Each apple contains a core of seeds. From the one seed that produced the
tree, countless seeds meet the earth for another opportunity to sprout. Some sprout.
Some don’t. Seeds surge into existence with such abundance that regardless of which
seeds sprout, the big intention of the tree moves powerfully forward.

One seed of our intention also produces an abundance of new intentions, all moving
towards the fulfillment of the big desire behind our actions. Some of our intentions
sprout. Some don’t. It is helpful to remember the abundance of the seeds that we sow
and the fertile nature of consciousness. It is comforting to know that plenty will sprout
for the fulfillment of our soul’s desire.

Trust

As we plant our seeds in the spring, we trust the process. We feel confident that the
seeds will grow into colorful edibles or decorative beauty. Bunches of tiny, compact
seeds fit in the palm of our hand and we spread them without a worry about which
exact seeds will sprout and which ones won’t. We let the earth and the seeds work out
the details under the surface and we welcome whichever sprouts shoot their little heads
into the light.

This is a beneficial attitude to have with our intentions. To sow them into the ground of
being and to trust that it will all come to fruition in a magnificent way. We don’t have to
dig our hands under the earth to squeeze the life through the seed. We simply wait and
trust. And while we wait, we cultivate. We pull the weeds that may appear. We water if
the weather is dry. We assist the invisible process with our loving care. Our care is
based on trust that the process goes on with or without our help.

Process

If you constantly dig up your seeds to see why they have not grown yet, you interfere
with the invisible process. Here are three simple steps that will nurture your invisible
progress toward your most cherished goals.

Choose an intention that seems dormant. One that you’d like to move forward into
manifestation. In this exercise we will cultivate the seeds of our intentions. We will
embrace this period of quiet transformation when it seems like nothing is happening.
Before long, you may find yourself with a big stable tree in your backyard providing you
with season after season of fruit.

Step 1. Check the packet

What seed are you planting? It helps to plant a seed that you really want to see flower.

If you have conflict about the potential outcome of your seed-desire, you may find your
garden facing a drought this season. Step one asks only that you double-check your
intention. Does it resonate fully with your inner truth? Will the eventual fulfillment of
this desire uplift you and others around you? Will it bring you joy? Will it open you to a
greater flow of life-force? Ask yourself questions about your desire and make sure you
are planting seeds you will love growing.

Step 2. Water

Flow your joyful attention toward the feeling of the fulfillment of your intention. Find
every good feeling aspect of the process and its fulfillment and rain your tears of joy
onto the invisible project.

Step 3. Weed

As conflicting thoughts of doubt and fear enter your awareness, remove them with a
sense of authority and ease. Don’t give much attention to your weed-thoughts. Just
notice that they are crowding the garden of your awareness and remove them by
returning to step two. Nurture only the seeds you have planted. The weeds will wither.

Keep clearing the ground for your beautiful sprout to make its appearance whenever it
is ready.
These three invisible steps can make all the difference as your project moves toward
manifestation. In this time, when it looks like nothing is happening, it can be especially
comforting to remember that you don’t have to make the flowers grow. That is not your
job. The power of the invisible process lies in trusting the invisible progress.

© Rebbie Straubing

You can receive Dr. Rebbie Straubing’s Free e-Course,
“7 Secrets for Manifesting Your Heart’s Desire,” at
http://www.yofa.net

Rebbie is a workshop leader, Abraham Coach, and writer.

To find or harmonize a relationship, visit http://www.GreatRelationships.net

Increase your awareness of Divine Love and begin a meditation practice in 3 minutes at the Affirmative Contemplation website, http://www.AffirmativeContemplation.com

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Do you tend to compartmentalize all the different areas of your life? Career goes there, relationship goes here, spirituality fits there, and health well, that’s neither here nor there.

Or maybe your compartmentalizing is temporal instead of spatial in your thinking. During the workday you do what you must, this evening you’ll do what you love and have some fun, and on Sunday you’ll think about what it means.

Or perhaps you experience a feeling of compartmentalizing thought vs. action: “I’m spending X% of my time thinking and Y% of my time acting.”

When you view your life as a series of different compartments, each with different rules, then life gets pretty complicated. Trying to achieve balance is very difficult because you constantly feel the need to task switch. My relationship needs attention. Oh no, I’ve been neglecting my health. I need to work harder. I’ve got to stop thinking so much and take more action.

The different “bins” of your life are all fighting for your time. And the longer you neglect one of those bins, the louder it gets and the harder it will fight for attention. Put off your health for too long, and you’ll crash with an illness. Put off your relationship for too long, and a breakup may be the result. Put off your work, and your career and income will suffer.

This is a paradigm that many people share. Keep all your balls in the air. Keep all those plates spinning. Don’t let your spiritual beliefs interfere with your work.

But I think it’s a broken paradigm. Let’s consider a different way of thinking.

What if your life had only one bin, one ball to juggle, one plate to spin. Just one. No need to deal with 10 different areas of your life and keep them all balanced. Just one.

How is this possible? It’s possible if all of those different areas of your life are congruent, if they all follow the same rules. Then thought and action are one, both pointing in the same direction. They’re on the same path. Your work is congruent with your most deeply held spiritual beliefs you don’t have to take your spirituality offline when you go to work. Improving your health improves your relationship. Increasing your income increases your service.

This means moving from a paradigm of the different parts of your life being in conflict to a new paradigm where they all cooperate. Instead of seeing each part of your life as independent, you begin to see them as interdependent. And isn’t this a more accurate model anyway? Can you truly isolate each part of your life as something separate? Can you abuse your health and think it won’t affect your career or your relationships? Do you think your feelings about your relationship won’t affect your financial situation? Can you ignore your spiritual beliefs when making business decisions and expect no negative consequences?

It seems obvious that all the different parts of your life are deeply interconnected. But a common way to treat problems is to try to isolate them. If there’s a problem with your health, you need to diet and exercise. If there’s a problem in your career, it’s time to work harder. But this isolation protocol doesn’t work well because there’s too much overlap between all the different parts of your life, no matter how much you try to isolate the problem areas and go to work on them.

It’s often the case that the obvious cause of the problem isn’t the true source. If you feel lonely because you haven’t been able to find the right relationship, and you keep trying harder and harder to find a relationship, you may get nowhere. The problem may be that you work at a career you aren’t passionate about, and you project this lack of passion to everyone you meet. And still a deeper issue may be that your spiritual beliefs tell you that service to others is very important, but you don’t feel you’re doing that. Then you change careers to do what you love, and it aligns with your spiritual beliefs because now you feel you’re contributing and serving. Then out of nowhere, you meet your future spouse, who is attracted to your passion about your work and the contribution you’re making. And the encouragement you experience from this relationship in turn helps you advance your career, increase your income, and free up more time to spend with your new spouse. Your stress goes down, and your health improves too. Your inner spiritual conflict was the real source of your inability to find the right relationship. Everything is deeply interconnected.

Although it seems that each part of your life follows different rules, they all follow the same rules. You may have different values for each part of your life, but the rules that govern those areas don’t change.

An example of an unchanging rule is kindness. The concept of kindness should resonate with your spiritual beliefs. You can be kind to your body, and your health will improve. You can be kind to your co-workers, and your relationships with them will improve. You can be kind to your spouse, and your marriage will grow stronger. You can be kind to a stranger, and your self-esteem will increase. It doesn’t matter to which area of your life you apply the principle of kindness. Its application is universal.

Another universal rule is being proactive, assuming personal responsibility for results and taking positive action. It doesn’t matter where you apply this rule: health, relationships, emotions, spiritual beliefs, career, business, money, etc. Being responsible works no matter where you apply it.

Cheating is another universal principle. No matter where you apply it, the long-term results are negative. Cheat your health, and pay the price of sickness. Cheat in your relationship, and the cost is a loss of intimacy. Cheat in your education, and your income suffers.

But more powerful than these intra-area effects, there’s the rippling effect due to the interrelatedness of all areas. So if you apply a universal principle in one area, either positively or negatively, it ripples into all other areas. If you cheat your health, then in the long run this will hurt your career, your relationships, your finances, your emotional state, and your sense of spiritual connectedness. You can’t cheat in one area of your life without suffering the consequences in ALL areas.

Similarly, be kind to your body, and your increased positive energy will positively affect your relationships, your work, your finances, your emotions, etc. Be proactive about building a career you enjoy, and your passion will spread to every other area.

If you violate a universal principle, it negatively impacts all areas of your life. If you follow a universal principle, it positively impacts all areas of your life. Universal principles don’t compartmentalize.

So the key then is figuring out these universal principles and aligning your thoughts and actions with them. This is how you achieve congruence between all the different parts of your life.

So what are the universal principles? Stephen Covey claims that the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are based on universal principles. I tend to agree, and that’s a good place to start. But I think all of these principles can be reduced to just one: to love. Not the passive squishy emotional feeling of love, but “to love” the action verb. To love your body translates into proper diet and exercise. To love your mind equates with learning. To love others is service. To love your work is to do it passionately and enthusiastically. To love your feelings means to respect and honor the messages they send you. This verb translates into different specific actions for each area, but the underlying principle is the same. Depending on the situation, “to love” may mean to listen, to serve, to work, to relax, to touch, and so on.

When you start injecting universal principles into every area of your life, alignment will gradually occur. The parts of your life will be transformed such that all these different pieces assemble themselves into one congruent whole. You won’t feel like these different parts of your life are in competition for your time and attention. Instead you’ll feel a sense of internal cooperation. You will have a sense that exercising your body is the best thing for your health and your relationship and your career and your spirituality.

Within each area you’ll either adapt your current circumstances to align with universal principles, or you’ll let go of all the misaligned pieces and start fresh. So your career may shift slightly as you adapt, or you may switch to a whole new career. Your old relationships may transform, or they may end while you seek out new ones. It just depends on how well the external parts of your life are able to align with who you are.

Alignment comes down to working on these four questions until they all produce the same answer:

* What do you want to do? (desire)

* What can you do? (ability)

* What should you do? (purpose)

* What must you do? (need)

When these four areas are aligned, motivation occurs automatically. Thought and action are automatically balanced because you are living your purpose consciously. You won’t feel like you should be thinking when you’re acting or acting when you’re thinking. The line between thought and action will disappear. Being and doing will become the same thing.

When you experience misalignment between these four areas/questions, the natural tendency is to slow down sometimes to a crawl. You’ll feel like you have all these ideas pulling you in different directions, but you aren’t fully satisfying any of them. Your mind knows that continuing to work hard is likely to be futile and won’t solve the real problem of incongruence. It knows it’s time for you to stop, ask directions, and choose the path of alignment.

I went through this while running my games business. While I had many projects to grow the business, I knew deep down that I didn’t want to run that business for another decade. I was containerizing everything: my health over here, my relationship there, my work here, and my spirituality there. Each part of my life felt like it had its own set of rules. Eventually I started questioning whether this was the best way to live. Are we supposed to live like a collection of parts or as an integrated whole? I wondered whether it would be possible to live in such a way where there was only one set of rules governing all areas, essentially meaning that I followed my deepest spiritual beliefs in all matters. This line of questioning led me to discover just how it might be possible for all these different parts of my life might become a single, integrated whole. This would mean that my business and my conscience and my interpersonal relationships were all one. There would be no sense of separation.

In order to go through this process, I had to transform certain parts of my life while totally shifting others. I tried to transform my career initially from within, but the disconnect was big enough that it required a more dramatic shift. Other parts of my life were able to adapt more flexibly. The main reason for my shift away from my games business was that it wasn’t a strong enough outlet for service for me. I think that given enough time, the original business could have been shifted, but that wasn’t the best route for me too take. It was faster and simpler to build a new business from scratch with the goal of congruence in mind than to try to refactor the existing business.

I must say that this push for congruence in all areas turned out beautifully. I don’t feel that sense of separation between the different parts of my life anymore. My purpose says I’m here to serve and help people. My ability says I can do it through writing and speaking and running a web site. My needs say I must support myself doing it. And my passion says it’s what I love doing most. I don’t have to separate supporting myself with a job and then having fun on the weekends and thinking about spirituality at other times. Work = play = love.

When you live congruently, it’s as if all the different parts of your life lock into new positions to form a new whole that’s greater than all the individual pieces. Everything grows stronger: health, relationships, motivation, actions, results, etc.

I know that as a practical matter, it seems as though different rules often govern in different areas. Separating your spiritual beliefs from your work is very common. A lot of businesses seem to operate on the assumption that universal principles don’t exist. I don’t buy that at all. There are non-universal principles that apply just within their own domains (the rules of nutrition apply to your health but not to your work, for instance), but universal principles apply to all areas. I think that one’s spiritual beliefs are the single most important factor in choosing a career or a company to work for. If you have a deeply held belief that you hold sacred, you cannot violate it in any area of your life without suffering the consequences in all areas. You must be true to your inner self at all times. That’s the only way to be congruent and to live as a whole person instead of merely as a bag of competing parts.

When you live congruently, a quantum leap will occur in each of these four areas. Desire becomes passion. Purpose becomes mission. Need becomes abundance. Ability becomes talent. And it becomes almost ridiculously easy to achieve fulfillment in every area then because all the parts are working together in the same direction.

Copyright © Steve Pavlina

Steve Pavlina
Personal Development for Smart People
http://www.stevepavlina.com
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog (blog)
http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles (articles)

Steve is intensely growth-oriented. He trained in martial arts, ran the L.A. Marathon, and graduated from college in three semesters with two degrees. He can juggle, count cards at blackjack, and make damn good guacamole. Steve is also a polyphasic sleeper, sleeping just 2-3 hours per day and only 20 minutes at a time. So chances are good that he’s awake right now.

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