Attractive Attraction

In Twelve Step meetings, it’s traditional to groan when someone says, “Let’s have a gratitude meeting.” People don’t like to talk or think about what they’re grateful for. It’s not in our nature. We’re more tuned to what’s going wrong than what’s going right. We can’t help it. The cave men who sat around and admired how white the teeth on the saber toothed tiger were, didn’t last long enough to reproduce. The ones who realized those teeth were a bad thing are our ancestors, so to speak.

But gratitude is important. Sometimes I just sit in my office, which I painted and decorated myself after moving into a wonderful new house, and I look at all the hangings on the wall and the things on my desk and the books on my shelves and I remember growing up in a house where I couldn’t sleep in my bedroom in the winter because the north wind blew through the window and the room was uninhabitable. And I feel grateful.

Gratitude gets a bad rap as being some sort of “feel-good” thing, but it’s not. Real, true, deep gratitude comes from the soul. It’s not some pop-culture thing. It’s not something you say to make yourself look good or to make someone else feel good.

Real gratitude is truly appreciating what you have, and feeling it’s enough. Sure, there are other things you’d like to have. There always will be. But in gratitude, you realize that if you don’t get the new car or the new house, it’s enough.

We should be “grateful for gratitude” because it’s one of the fastest ways to appreciate our lives and feel happier. This simple technique, practiced every day, can change your life.

About The Author

Angie Dixon helps small business owners get their acts together. She is a personal development coach specializing in helping people integrate their home and work lives so they feel less stretched and more balanced. Get her FREE EBOOK on balance at http://www.discoveringtruenorth.com. For questions or to discover how coaching can change your life, contact Angie at mailto:angie@discoveringtruenorth.com.

You are free to use this article in ezines, web sites and print publications. If you do use it, please send a quick email to mailto:angie@discoveringtruenorth.com. Thank you.

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Does worrying about what others think of you, or what you are doing cause you anxiety and sleepless nights? Do you tailor your actions or behavior to the opinions of others? If so, then have I found a book title for you! I have not read the book by Terry Cole Whitaker, but when I saw it, it really struck a chord. The title is “What You Think of Me is None of My Business”. How cool is that?! Doesn’t it make you go, “hmmm”?

Imagine how liberating it would be to adopt this title as your personal motto and put it into practice. Envision yourself looking at the captions on a magazine cover and not caring what the latest expert says is acceptable, fashionable, or tolerable. How about being able to attend this year’s holiday parties without caring what colleagues, acquaintances, relatives or friends are thinking about you? Can you feel the self-confidence and positive energy that radiates when you make the decision to let someone else take ownership of their beliefs, ideas, or negativity? Phyllis, Julie and Trevor had to experience it first hand to feel it.

Phyllis, Julie, and Trevor have been friends since childhood. They have mutual friends and work for the same company. They have also all experienced the phenomena of letting someone else’s hang-ups become their own. They were not looking forward to the holiday season because they knew what kinds of comments typically awaited them. This year they got together at Thanksgiving and decided that they were tired of being victims. They prepared for the holiday festivities with excitement knowing that THEY were going to seize control, and that they had each other for support.

When Phyllis arrived at the company Christmas party alone and immediately ran into a very happily married co-worker, instead of letting her co-worker’s snide comment about being dateless bother her, she replied that she welcomed the opportunity to meet other people, and had intentionally come solo. She felt great as she walked away and left her co-worker fumbling for a retort. How good it felt to not worry about what someone else thought for a change. She felt in control and intended to thoroughly enjoy her evening.

When Julie left the dance floor looking for a cool drink, her ex-husband walked up to her and remarked that she looked good despite the extra pounds that she had put on. Instead of getting self-conscious, Julie told him that she was glad he thought so, and that she hadn’t felt so good in years. Just as he was about to say something, someone walked up to her and asked her to dance. Julie felt great as she danced off. She stood in HER truth and the outcome was fantastic.

Trevor stood back and observed the crowd. He had seen the exchanges that the girls had, and he was impressed. He hoped that he could follow through too. He knew that his co-workers joked about the fact that he still lived at home at his age, and he knew that the word had leaked into the neighboring office where Shelby worked. He wanted to ask her out, but was not sure how receptive she would be. After all, most men over 30 do not live at home. As he turned to find Phyllis to ask for advice, he bumped right into Shelby and had to grab her to keep her from falling! He immediately apologized and was amazed when she said that she was looking for him. He asked her to dance and while they were dancing she told him that she still lived at home too! Trevor was so pleased that he did not revert to his “old ways”. Had he paid attention to what his co-workers thought of him, he never would have asked her to dance.

The next day, when the three friends got together to reminisce, they had all learned a great deal from their “Coming Out”. They learned that being true to themselves was incredibly rewarding. They had not pay attention to the shoulds and ought to’s that typically surround them and decided to let the people with the beliefs worry about them, while they enjoyed their night. They were happy and had much higher self-esteem the next day. They knew that they were going to continue living their lives with the new motto firmly in place.

Are you being authentic and standing in your truth? Where are you letting others’ beliefs and expectations dictate your life? Are you minding someone else’s business? If so, isn’t it time to start doing your own thing and mind your own business? It’s their hang-up, not yours! My challenge to you is to release worrying about what others think of you and be willing to be your true, authentic self. The quality of your life will improve radically!

Eva Gregory, master coach, speaker and author of The Feel Good Guide To Prosperity, http://www.feelgoodguide.com, has instructed thousands on the Laws of Attraction in person, on the radio and in dozens of teleconference training seminars and programs. She is the author of several books and e-books and has co-developed several telephone-based and internet-based training courses on the Laws of Attraction. Her most popular program to date is her Leading Edge Living One Year Success Program. (http://www.leadingedgecoaching.com/Living/index.shtml) Eva is regularly featured on radio and in the media and is a recognized authority on the Laws of Attraction. To learn more about her products and services, visit Leading Edge Coaching, http://www.leadingedgecoching.com

NOTE: You’re welcome to “reprint” this article online as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the “about the author” info at the end), and you send a copy of your reprint to eva@coacheva.com

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Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing to break the fall. I’ve got to switch channels. I don’t like my chances on this station. Infused with youthful caprice, I mused to myself about my predicament. Enjoying the intense body rush of imminent danger, I was torn between prolonging the joy-terror and searching for an escape from my imminent demise.

I’d been in similar dire situations before and I’d always evaded the worst. How did I get out of danger before? Quick, you idiot, think! You don’t have all day!

The impending disaster pumped my adrenaline-and my memory. I let go, I reminded myself. That’s what I did in past situations. I just let go of having to control the whole thing. I released my need to be right about how life operates. I allowed the picture to change. That’s when circumstances shifted and something unexpected, seemingly impossible, occurred. Let the channel switch, Keith! I coached myself into letting go into safety once again. Averting the most probable outcome, I robbed death of its prey yet another time.

Yes, rather unceremoniously, I was reminded of the natural malleability of the physical universe by a six-hundred-foot free fall straight down a sheer cliff. The threat of a perilous plunge into empty space re-impressed on my young mind the lessons I learned in similar predicaments: go with the slide on the ice rink, relax into the tackle in football and turn toward the skid in the car. Now I call it “the decision to surrender.” Back then, I called it “just letting go.”

I was fourteen. My girlfriend Cheryl and I decided to go for a hike down a precipitous gorge in upstate New York. We had most of the crisp spring day to play before reporting to work as dinnertime servers at a local restaurant. The trail was winding and steep. Three hours later, we arrived at the bottom of the granite and shale canyon.

After spending an afternoon swimming in the rippling stream, it dawned on us we didn’t have enough time to hike back up the zigzagging trail to the top and get to work on time. We concluded we could still make it back to our job deadline if we climbed straight up the vertical cliff.

Ascending the steep cliff turned out to be quite easy. Protruding from the sheer granite wall were small rock ledges as easy to climb up as rungs on a ladder. Within thirty minutes we were twenty feet from the top. We would have been home free, except that the previous night’s rain had soaked the soil near the crest, loosening the shale ledges. As we neared the top, each time we placed a foot or hand on the next rock outcropping, the shale broke away from the cliff. Very quickly, we found ourselves frantically moving our hands and feet from one shelf to another, searching for something solid to support us in order to clamber up the last few feet to safety.

With total panic on her face, Cheryl looked over at me-a silent plea for guidance screaming over the space between us. I didn’t know what to do next. I had no answers. Like her, I’d also run out of ledges within reach to grasp. I felt myself beginning to slide down the cliff.

Suddenly, my whole life flashed in front of my eyes! It was like watching a movie being projected a few feet in front of me. During the first second of my descent into the abyss, I re-experienced every major positive event of my life in full, living color, including all the emotional and physical sensations of each incident. I re-lived every significant birthday party, picnic, vacation, romantic date, school honor, sports achievement and family celebration of my short life. This vivid, comprehensive review was very rich and satisfying. Considering my precarious situation, an incongruous aura of calm and fulfillment swept over me.

The flashback ended as abruptly as it began. Suddenly, I was acutely aware of being suspended in time and space between the life review and the next moment of present time-me in the midst of my slide down the cliff. During that seemingly eternal moment, the realization hit me like a ten-ton boulder: I don’t want to die! A wave of acute appreciation flooded over me. I love life. I want to continue exploring what life has to offer. I remember whispering to myself, I want to live, as if one part of me were informing another part of me.

Then, swoosh! I plummeted into the vast emptiness beneath me. Some alert, unknown aspect of my being spontaneously yelled to Cheryl, “Lie flat! Relax! Let go!” Hearing the words that came unbidden from within me, I, too, obeyed, and consciously chose to surrender to the inevitable.

I don’t remember anything after that decision, including what logically should have been a very abrupt and painful landing. All I know is, Cheryl and I were suddenly sitting in the stream at the bottom of the gorge where the current formed a small pool. Although the water in the pool had turned crimson with our blood, neither of us was experiencing any aches or discomfort. The bleeding came from small, razor-thin cuts all over the fronts of our bodies. But we had no broken bones, bruises or other injuries. It was as if the only purpose of the scratches was to remind us that, yes, indeed, we had just gone free falling down a six-hundred-foot cliff.

After a short period of wonderment, we practically danced up the long, circuitous trail to the top of the gorge. We were so thankful-and simply happy to be alive, in one piece and being given a second chance. The climb was effortless.

Crisis. Emergency. Danger.

These threats to my well-being were my early teachers. From these seeming enemies, I learned that when faced with an expected outcome I don’t like, I have an option. I can open to an alternative scenario, another framework, a different set of rules. I jokingly call my ploy “switching channels.” It’s an apt metaphor. I simply let go of my old way of viewing the world and allow a fresh perspective to emerge-or not! After all, when we truly let go, anything can happen! More often than not, however, I find myself shifted to a new reality-a different station with a new story line that has a much better ending! This is the stuff of miracles and alchemy.

(c) 2004, Keith Varnum. All rights in all media reserved.

About The Author

Drawing from the wisdom of native cultures and ancient spiritual traditions, Keith Varnum shares his practical approach to healing and transformation as an author, life strategy coach, acupuncturist, filmmaker, radio host, vision quest guide and international seminar leader with his empowering “Dream Workshops” and free, fun “Prosperity Ezine” at www.TheDream.com.

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